Michelle and Wil are eagle-eyed noticers

We went to see Bridesmaids (see any positive review. I agree!) tonight and were surprised how at many moments from the trailer weren't in the movie. Quite a few. Quite. Seriously, almost every punchline in this trailer was altered or removed in the final film. Is there a term for missing trailer moments? Is everyone else cool with this? It doesn't bother me too much though it is a tad distracting but mainly I just want to know if other people notice these things.

Equals (Lonja)

=

I can't be the only one who has noticed that Lo Bosworth and Sonja Morgan are uncannily similar. Sometimes I google things like "Sonja is a grownup Lo" just to see if anyone else has written about this.  So far, the search has been fruitless.   Nonetheless, I see something there. 
Not only do these two look alike (or at least both look beautiful in that unusual, Meryl Streep-y way), but they have basically the same presence.  A positive, breath-of-fresh-air presence.  They are the levity, the sometimes naughty foils, the wink and the smile.  They both flashed their "Britney"s (inadvertently!) and got mere giggles in return while others might have gotten sneers.  They're silly and fun. Both have a taste for luxury which, at least for me, doesn't induce jealousy or even irritation.  Whatever Lonja wants, Lonja gets.  I would give Lonja things if I could! Despite being spoiled and ditzy ("cou-cous," Sonja?  that was coo coo) they redeem themselves with a sparkling warmth that is so rare on these shows.

Or maybe they're just both good at fooling me.

[Lo image credit unknown, Sonja image credit eonline.com]

Teevee Attempts to Watch The Celebrity Apprentice Finale

Buckle up, it's gonna be a bumpy episode.  And a bumpy series.  And a bumpy world that has allowed Donald Trump...you know, just allowed him.

I have only ever watched Celebrity Apprentice because
a) I was completely out things to do.
b) Hulu insisted it was something that existed.
c) It used to include the ever sass-tastic NeNe Leakes.  (Her name is just as fun to type as it is to say and think about and think about some more and then think about one times too many realize it has ceased to have meaning.)  (The amount of times it takes to think "NeNe Leakes" into oblivion: not that many.)

Presently, I find myself dangerously without things to do and susceptible to Hulu's suggestion.  Alright! I'll watch Celebrity Apprentice!  But I won't like it!

Last I checked, at least a couple episodes ago, the main thing I remember was Meatloaf being a blubbering wound of vulnerability.  Like the role he played in Fight Club but he doesn't get to be in on the joke anymore?  I pretty much blocked the rest out.   Except that every person on the show seems to be competing in a unspoken side competition: Who can reinforce their "Brand" as a "Celebrity" the most brain-searingly?  Let's see, if I pretended I had never heard of these people before what would I have gathered about them solely from this series? 
- Latoya Jackson is a member of a kind of American Music Royalty and is soft-voiced and pointy-faced. 
-Star Jones fancies herself a powerful lady who lunches and wears pants however tight and unforgiving she wishes. 
-Country Star guy is super Americanny and Country Twang-y and level-headed and protective of his fans.
um, he's actually kind of okay.
-Mark McGrath was successfully media-trained into calming down for the most part.  But, he's still Mark McGrath...so, basically f@#$ed.
 -Li'l Jon made a career being a hype man which is essentially the highest incarnation of Guy-In-Sandwich-Board one can aspire to.
-And there were other people and whatever.   snoozeville.


None of these people matter of course.  The point of any Donald Trump vehicle is to remind everyone that Donald Trump is here, and his hair is here, and his money is here and he's just taking up space and feeling great about himself The American Way!  None of the contestants could even dream of being annoying enough to hold a candle to how annoying Donald Trump is.   He basically dares you to hate him with every fiber of being.  (I will never forget when he bullied the cast into sort of supporting his presidential bid.  Never forget!). I've realized one of the most annoying things about the way he acts on the show is that he's way too fluent in the concept of branding to even be a person anymore.  When he chats with the contestants he always acknowledges one main talking point about them. Marlee Matlin is the pretty one.  "Isn't she a beauty?" he'll ask the group and they'll all nod and smile in a hostage hush.  "Isn't Meatloaf a nice, sensitive kind of guy?  Man is he nice and sweet and sensitive!" "Isn't L'il Jon a cool guy?" "Star Jones is so elegant and so A Lawyer" and on and on.  He speaks in tone deaf sound-bites.  He's the boorish distant relative you would carefully strategize ways to avoid during the entire family reunion because he'll just say the most obvious thing and distill you down to something so insensitive and obvious that it lacks all traces of humanity, LOUDLY!  And keep insisting you agree!

I can't watch the finale of Celebrity Apprentice.
I can accept this failure.

Teevee on YouTube

This was great.



Wil said if it was a show on television he would totally watch it for five minutes at a time sometimes.  This is a ringing endorsement from Wil.

Teevee on Movie Actresses on Magazine Covers Who May or May Not Look Creepy

Michelle: Gwyneth looks like a creepy, evil sprite here.

Wil:

Michelle: ahahahahahh

Wil: also, I misread the text on that magazine as "the creepiest chicken ever!"

Images from bonappetit and Richard D. James

The Donna Martin Bad Hair Chronicles

The Whaaaat Party?

Okay, The Real World.  Okay.  We've been through so much together.  The Kevin/Julie race war, Pedro and Me, your companion series Road Rules that really was all about the journey.  Yes, you have devolved into a Myspace-ian morass but I not only forgive you time and time again, I continue to watch you!

But...

The Sun Drop party?

So, this is what's it's like to be young and chipper and totally cool with the cold hard truths of life.

  

 The...what?  And at the "party" a "band" is playing a "song" named (shudder) Sun Drop?

Actually, the song was named Don't Stop (Sun Drop).  I know you don't care.  I sure wish I didn't.

 I'm confused and scared.  Hold me?

Look, have the seven strangers lunch at Subway "by choice" in every other episode, okay, fine. At least while they're Subway-ing it up they don't talk about it.  Remember, the first rule of Blatant Advertising on Reality Television is you never talk about the Blatant Advertising on Reality Television.


Did you do this on purpose, The Real World?  Did you realize bloggers would get all lathered up over this, all fizzy like a fizzy citrus soda and write about it and in doing so write the words "Sun" and "Drop" over and over? I see, free advertising is your game, eh?  Well, fine, I surrender. I am your marionette, MTV.  Be gentle with my strings.

[Images from MTV.com]

Teevee on TV Writing

 I don't know what good TV writing is except that it's this

Panic Attacks and Sick Erections: What Is The Real World And Why Aren't You Watching It Anymore?

(Lies, Lies, Lies)