If Liking Greg Grunberg is Wrong, Then I'm Wrong

 A lot of people give me guff about liking Felicity but what they don't know is that I loved Felicity.  I thought I would grow out of my fondness for it or that the show wouldn't stand the test of time but...no.

One of my favorite things about Felicity (besides everything) was Greg Grunberg, who played this similarly named, Sean Blumberg.  Greg's Sean was not always likable, in fact, he was often downright embarrassing.  I mean, cringe worthy.  Almost Michael Scott levels of cringe worthy but without the frustrated meanness and misused power.  Sean didn't even have enough power to abuse it.  He was this somewhat older, chubby guy hanging out with these WB-pretty college kids who kind of rolled their eyes at him.  And understandably so, because he was pretty annoying.  He was lazy, too honest, a loser to the world.  But he had this almost un-squelchable hope.  He was insecure but proud somehow.  Proud of his ridiculous dreams of hitting it big as an inventor.  An inventor!

Anyway, Grunberg was great on that show and I see hints of that greatness on Love Bites, too. His acting style is so natural, he seems like he might have stepped out of your living room straight into a show that was airing and just started hanging out in the show.  I like how his new character, Judd (a tattoo artist named Judd!  So 90s!), seems vulnerable but capable and positive.

I like Love Bites so far.  It feels like a dirtier Friends if Friends had been single-camera.  I mean that as a compliment, even though, maybe due to over-watching or time passing, Friends reruns seem sadly stale to me these days.  It didn't get as popular as it did on hairdos alone.  There was a streak of real humanity in that show and there is here too.  It falls into cliches sometimes but there are also great little touches.  I liked the pillow wall between Judd and his wife and when Kyle corrects his mother about his boyfriend being "cool."   Those moments felt really cute and relatable.  Even if you don't enjoy Love Bites or Grunberg yet, I suggest giving them another chance for enjoyment.  If Sean could melt Meghan's club kid Grinch heart, maybe Greg can melt yours.
[Photo by Chris Haston – © NBC Universal, Inc.]

Commercial over-analysis with Wil

Wil said he was "troubled" by this Wendy's commercial for their new berry themed salad which has as many carbohydrates as their Bacon Mushroom Melt.  But that's not what tingled his Wil Senses.
It was this:

"Hi, Wendy!"

This young woman is video chatting with a cartoon.  Not even an animated cartoon, a still image of a fast food chain mascot.  Wil just wants to know what kind of Cool World, Paula Abdul video, Mary Poppins universe this commercial is supposed to depict.
[screen shot from youtube.com]

Teevee is occasionally amused by things other than TV

I just got spam titled something like, Try On Pippa Middleton's Sexy Hair!  That leads my thoughts to some pretty graphic places, InStyle.com. 

The World According to Paris (is a confusing, rotting candyland)

Here are my scribbles and notes about the new Oxygen show The World According to Paris which follows an overgrown Veruca Salt as she struggles with former fame and current animal hoarding.  

- Paris Hilton is almost exactly my age (she was born one day after me) so I feel keenly apt to judge her.  My judgement is, we're too old for this s@#$!

- The intro sequence is SO MANY PICTURES OF PARIS SO QUICKLY!  MY HEAD IS A HURT.

- Paris narrates a little intro about being all growed up and rethinking her priorities.  Her voice is not the high-pitched Muppet Babies one she used to use, or the low, jaded-Vegas-smokey one she used to alternate with the high one.  It's a medium one now.  Maybe she has growed up?

Purple is pink for olds?
[Image via www.thehollywoodgossip.com]

 Nah.  She only uses the medium voice for the narration.  The rest of the time it alternates between Khloe Kardashian feeling romantic and Kathleen Turner.

- The hyper speed photo collage ends with a twinkly noise that might be glass shattering or sparkly things sparkling.  Maybe this represents the old version of Paris breaking or the new version of Paris shining.   Or the old Paris rising like a tarted up phoenix out of glimmer ashes.  You decide, lovlies!

-Remember when Paris used to be the cutesy kind of bitch?  Now she's just a bitch.  "Honey, you just pour a drink" she snaps at her assistant like a real-life Karen Walker when the assistant points out she's not a trained barkeep.

-We are introduced to Paris' ragtag group of frienemylushes.  "Let's club!" they roar and they go dance all around.  One of them is Brooke Mueller.  It becomes clear that Paris isn't actually using this vehicle to establish credibility.  Brooke looks sad and distant, with a raspy voice and the all too knowing eyes of "no-nonsense" Roxy from The Misfits (Jem, anyone?).  When she calls Paris "baby" she sounds like OJ Berman.

Paris Hilton = real life Holly Golightly = manic-pixie-cautionary tale.
[© 1961 Paramount – Image courtesy mptvimages.com]

-At one point Paris leaves a room in a pink towel, claiming she's going to get dressed and comes back still in the towel.  She simply cannot be trusted to put on clothes.

-At an art museum, Paris starts acting like Cher Horowitz (we're too old for this s@#$, baby).  She's wearing a beret and whining about how her hipster assistant (I mean friend!  I mean photographer employee!  I mean friemployee!) has dragged her to a "weird" art show.  Her boyfriend, a hardened looking creature who she repeatedly insists (to us and herself) is extremely trustworthy calls to accuse her of a bunch of stuff.  Paris pulls a Lucy's In Trouble gag frown and proceeds to have a loud fight with him in the quiet gallery.  (Why do people always stare at me when I cause scenes?!)  Don't take your private fightcall in the art gallery, baby.  Step outside?  Sigh.

Cy:  I'm gonna go back to Vegas tonight.
Paris: Nooooouuuuuhhhhhh.

-Paris seems almost likable during one those annoying between-the-commercial mini-scenes that make you think the show's back on but it's not.  She receives a miniature horse (!) from a secret admirer or something and seems genuinely delighted.  She proclaims she'd like to name the horse Lady Coco Chanel.  For once in the whole episode her comic timing is effective and her zany descent into full-grown rich lady eccentricity seems like something she's control of and in on the joke about.

-Paris says a lot things she doesn't seem to realize are completely heartbreaking.  She doesn't seem equipped to navigate the emotional complexities of life.  She has the bitterness of someone jaded but not the hard earned realizations.  In the final moments of the episode she addresses the baby voice but only in the most shallow, toddler way, noting that she always uses it to get what she wants.  She's worried it might not always work for her but seems just convinced enough that it will.

The Donna Martin Bad Hair Chronicles 2

I originally hoped that The Donna Martin Bad Hair Chronicles would be a regular feature inspired by my frequent SOAPnet viewings of Beverly Hills, 90210.  But the SOAPnet channel is no longer a channel (?) so I can no longer watch the series in its glorious entirety over and over on an endless loop.  (single tear).  However, inspiration is always just a casual Google images search away.  I give you, The Angela Chase Martin.

I just like how David Silver is always leaning.  Against stuff.  He leans great.

In other Donna Martin hair related Google searches, Wil found this:
http://wilkesbarre.citysearch.com/profile/8880108/kingston_pa/donna_martin_s_hair_designs.html
[Image via www.blingcheese.com]

Audrina Examined

[via sharetv.org]

I like to imagine I'm the only person in the entire world who has ever actually watched VH1's Audrina. Sure, other people may have had their televisions on and tuned to the correct channel while Audrina happened. But, I actually forced myself to watch, I mean really take in all that is Audrina and here's what I got out of it...

First off, the lovely Sara Bareilles tune "Uncharted" could not be less apt theme song here.  There's not a moment in this entire series that doesn't feel planned by a committee.  A committee that unanimously decided "let's make Audrina boring as hell!"  The character, Audrina, I mean.  The show Audrina does include oddballs who are allowed to be interestingish.  But Audrina is pristinely vanilla.  A vapid Snow White.   All Audrina is allowed to be on Audrina is beautiful.  And she really is.  Whatever combination of genetics and cosmetics and sheer will she's got going, it has been successful (except her little issue with upward drifting eyes that always seem to be looking above you instead of at you.  Poetic, no?)

Basically, the underlying take-home point of every scene is that Audrina is lovely and perfect.  The delicate flower that miraculously grew out of the gray sludge around her.
Examples?
- Her mother is a crazy drunk.  Audrina is a sane sober.  (That TMZ footage of Audrina's mom drunkenly ranting and raving and casting a pox on Audrina's enemies' houses?  That is her everyday voice!  It haunts me, frankly.)
- One of her sisters is pretty and normal but underage (thus not competition for prospective male viewer lust).
- Her other sister is pretty but an issues-y, excessive-tattoo-having black sheep.
- The tatted sister is always causing family drama while Audrina is the peacemaking, problem solver who is always trying to create family togetherness. 
-Audrina does Pilates "beautifully" according to their pixie Pilates instructor.  Meanwhile, crazydrunkmom, does Pilates annoyingly, loudly, and crassly.

Jealous yet?  You should be!  Oh, unless you like being smart.  Audrina's one hinted at imperfection is that she's kind of a lunkhead.  But even that is given a positive, she just has such a big heart that it makes her naively trusting/at least she has a sense of humor about it spin.

It wasn't always this way.  Actually, back in her The Hills days, Audrina was something of a rebel.  A prissy punk (as Simon Doonan once deemed an America's Next Top Model contestant who liked to wear black and hot pink skull prints).  Audrina chose to live alone in the pool house while Lauren and Lo giddily braided each other's hair.  She had strong opinions about music and liked to go to shows Lauren deemed "weird."  She dated a guy everyone hated.  She had the above-mentioned tattoo and her sister had the above-mentioned even more tattoos.  On Audrina most of that rebel-lite persona has been removed.  As Audrina puts it, she's taking her brand in a more "fashion" oriented direction.  I guess "fashion" means "devoid of humanity."
There's a poignant moment in the opening credits sequence.  Audrina flips her enormous cape of shiny hair from one side of her head to the other and it hits her sister in the face.  Her sister does a "hey!" reaction and then a forgiving smile.  Audrina stares ahead blankly and then tentatively wanders to her next mark.

Gretchen Rossi's Laugh

It's no secret that Gretchen Rossi has a big, boisterous, (exhausting) laugh.  But did you know that once in a blue moon, her laugh morphs from sorority shrill into a Three Stooges nyuk nyuk?  I know this happened once and if I ever find video evidence of it I will post it, posthaste.

Also, I'm pretty sure her necklace is a small, angry man shaking his fists above his head.  He rues the day!

[via www.ladyandtheblog.com]